IC Contact

[depthlesslock]

[Hey, this is York. M'not around right now so leave a message.

If this is a client, please leave your details and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

If this is one of the others, I'll get back to you whenever.

If it's Florida, I didn't do it.
 

Aaaand if it's anyone else... Just leave a message. I'll get back to you if I recognise you. Or even if I don't, and you sound cute.]

Comments

[depthlesslock]

It... wasn't either of those. D, what are you saying? You're stopping caring?

[protective_logic]

If it wasn't either than it was unintentionally hurtful which is worse and I will stand by the 'I don't care.'

Yes, I stop caring. There is nothing served in developing emotional attachments to other individuals who are outside of my family. Our friendship is, of course, something that I will retain and care for the existence of. But 'love' is a scam that I will no longer be buying into.

[depthlesslock]

...Why is that worse?

I uh... wow. Um... I'm glad we can still be friends. But... Actually no, I'm not going to say anything. I'd only make things worse again, wouldn't I?

[protective_logic]

Why is it worse?

Because he didn't consider my feelings at all, York. He didn't consider me at all in the answer. If it was done with the intent to hurt me then it was fair, considering what I did was clearly formed to hurt him, even if it was only a repercussion of a decision that needed made and no one could provide a suitable argument against. But to hurt one without intention means to have not considered the feelings of the person he was speaking to at all. Considering the conversation we were having at the time, it was the cruelest thing he could have done.

Speak your part if you will speak. There is nothing which can make this worse.

[depthlesslock]

...Maine's not very good with words. He didn't mean to hurt you.

[protective_logic]

When your ex, during a conversation about your failed relationship, asks if you believe in second chances, yes or no is all that needs said. Even he can manage that. The fact that he hurt me was because, consciously or not, he desired to hurt me. Or couldn't give a fuck about how hie words might affect me.

As you say he didn't mean to give me the impression that I had a chance, despite both of us reading the statement as implying such, then he didn't think, didn't care to think, or failed to care enough to contemplate what those words would do.

When I hurt him, York, it was something that I knew would hurt him. I chose to speak anyway. I put a lot of thought into it. He didn't put any into hurting me. It was cruel. It was malicious whether intended to be or not, and it reinforces that my decision was a good one, because someone who could so easily hurt another like that should not be trusted around my siblings.

[depthlesslock]

I'm sorry.

[protective_logic]

As am I. I knew this would hurt me. Which is why I resolved not to care. I just... wasn't expecting such casual, thoughtless cruelty.

I hadn't thought this could hurt worse.

[depthlesslock]

Can I help at all? Get you something? Do something?

[protective_logic]

What can one even do?

No. There is nothing to do, to be done, or that I would care to do. Why bother to care?

[depthlesslock]

A distraction maybe? We never got around to wat-shing Cross Access together.

[protective_logic]

I don't think I care to watch that anymore.

[depthlesslock]

But we were going to try and find things the other hadn't noticed. It's a great film.

[protective_logic]

Try watching it with Sigma. He's very bright.

[depthlesslock]

That's a really dumb reason. I want to wat-sh it with you.

[protective_logic]

I don't want to watch it. It will give me no pleasure.

[depthlesslock]

Delta, please try to not let this wreck everything you enjoy.

[protective_logic]

Do you believe I have not been trying to prevent that very thing for two months now, York?

Can you begin to fathom for even a second that maybe this isn't new? That I've been miserable for two months and the only reason I've done anything at all is because I do not have the luxury of taking time to 'heal', if such a thing is even possible? There no longer is anything I enjoy, so this specific instance cannot wreck anything at all.

[depthlesslock]

You're making it sound like I haven't been present at all that entire time. I'm well aware that you're miserable and I've seen the effects of you suffering and it's been killing me that there's nothing I or anyone can do to help. I cannot express how sorry I am that you've reat-shed this point and I was above the clouds there was something that could be done to help. I'm sorry, Delta, I'm really so extremely sorry.

[protective_logic]

There is nothing to be done for any of it. You have done no wrong at all. Only me. Maybe Maine to a small degree, but it's me. I am a poor influence on those around me.

[depthlesslock]

Maine has done plenty wrong. Several people have involving this whole mess, including me. Just... let me know if I can do anything. Wat-sh the kids, get someone out of the house, drop off pizza, whatever.

[protective_logic]

If I let someone else do things, what in the world is left for me to do?

[depthlesslock]

Your entire life is not going to lose purpose because I look after the twins and Theta for a few hours.

[protective_logic]

They are all I have to live for, York. It might.

[depthlesslock]

...I'll stick to bringing pizza over then.