depthlesslock: (Default)
 [Long silence]

Everything's fucked up. I swear everything went from fairly normal to fubar in the space of less than twenty hours. I've seen single day jobs go to shit slower than this.

[Pause]

I'm playing three role in this and I rarely ever have to even play two. The others sometimes rib me for being too similar on jobs as when I'm at base, but I don't usually care. I'm not like Florida, although granted he's a rather extreme example here. I guess this is different to that though. I'm not being three different people, I'm just taking three different sides to this. [Amused snort] Just realised there's three strengths of lying. Not lying at all to Delta, half lying to Sigma 'cause I really do want to try and help him, I just can't tell him all that I know. And then lying completely to Florida.

He'll find out. Probably already knows. Hopefully, since it's a low paying job, he won't be too mad at me. Hopefully.

[Sound of chair creaking]

Fuck. The whole Ai family... I hope things sort out for them. I don't know how, I don't even know if it would be possible at all, but I hope they find a way to make it work. I know Delta's mad, and I get why he left - sort of - but at the same time, I can't help but keep thinking of the fact that he left six kids over an argument he had with one. Those kids I saw with Sigma in the park... How are they reacting to all this? It can't be good. Sigma's completely broken up about the whole thing and he's the third - fourth? - oldest. 

Sigma...  Fucking hell, it's hard to lie to him like this. It shouldn't be, I've known the guy less than a week! But... God, I just want tell him that Delta's okay. Tell him where he is. It wouldn't help completely, but it might help a bit. He's gonna hate me if he finds out-- when he finds out that I helped Delta hide. But if he didn't... If he forgave me and we carried on... I could love him. Yeah, I could see that. Quite easily, actually.

[Long silence]

[Sigh]

I need to delete this. If someone, namely Florida, found it... Nope, not even gonna think about that.

Signing out. Not that anyone will ever hear this. Does anyone listen to these things? Whatever.

York.

[Journal entry deleted]

depthlesslock: (Default)
Don't know why the counter's reset to one. Makes it look like I've never done one of these things before. Which I have. Stupid thing.

Anyway, this time I lasted six weeks between major panic attacks which is a record since I started having them. Six weeks and four days according to the last time I logged one. Tex is back in Gulch, that's what set me off. Go figure. She's at base now, so the foreseeable future is going to be... interesting. I just hope I can actually stand to be around her for a while.

Maine helped me out of the flashback. He was actually really kind about the whole thing. Never would've thought it of him. At least not to that level. He stayed with me all night to make sure I didn't slip again. Note to self: find a way to say thank you.

In other news, I have a new friend and a new date, both of who are from the same family and who I met separately. They're both really cool, although Delta (the friend) is more reserved than his brother, Sigma (the date). He's older though, and from what I can tell, the guy's got a lot on his shoulders. Sigma's a lot of fun, I like hanging out with him. Got a second date tonight which should be fun. Speaking of which, I need to get going.

Signing out.

York.

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Agent York

May 2015

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